Thursday, May 8, 2014

Netflix Addiction: Devil

By Dr.Sparta

  Whales, my computer exploded. It shattered my hopes and my dreams. It destroyed my sanity. I had to call upon the gods to give me the tools to give life to a new one. With that quest now completed, let’s get back to finding awesome! That which I am about to watch on the screen of this maddening house of horrors known as Netflix is a mayor letdown that is only  welcome for someone with an unquenchable thirst for action, bloodletting, explosions and the occasional love story that ends in tragedy. It’s bad acting, it’s over the topness, it’s overall goofy quality… This is Devil. 

  My fellow Whales this movie delivered nothing but the last sentence above. It promised greatness, it lied. It promised GLORY! and it lied once again. At this point I wanted to end my computer for a second time, but I restrained myself. This “film” is centered on a group of people trapped in an elevator, one of them being the Devil. Every time the lights go out a soul is taken from within the elevator via slaughter. Up until this part, I was hooked, and then like a siren’s call draws men in, it pounced for the reveal. And it left a not bloody bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Then it went on being racist with the latino character being overly religious and how the detective has a tragic back-story. I would much rather just…dare I say it? Watch both VHS movies once again than sit through this.  

  This movie is most un-epic, it gives nothing that is new.  Like a politician, it is all promise and no delivery. Do not get me wrong whales and whalettes, I love being back, but with movies like this… I fear for what’s to come. With that I take my leave whales. But there is no question about this though, go witness this bad, BAD movie and judge it deeply. This is Dr. Sparta, GLORIOUSLY recommending not building your own computer without good specific instructions.

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