Review: 300: Rise of an Empire

By. Dr.Sparta 

It should not be a surprise, my dear whales and whalettes, that I love 300. It screams: GLORY, EPIC, AWESOME, among all sorts of loud, uplifting expressions. Its true nature is to bring on what men like without disregarding the ladies, a lot of testosterone. 

This brutal following of the events of 300 takes us to another violent and GLORIOUS tale of the Athenians who show us that they too can battle the odds and bring the enemies pain in such amazing and inventing ways. If you must know, the setting takes place mostly on water, but it doesn’t take away the greatness out of a battle. In any case it enhances the experience with beautiful visuals and adorably violent fight scenes. There is plenty of blood-shed in this movie and oh, is it perfect.

I cannot bring myself to spoil anything from this movie. It’s something you have to see. I’m sorry I might’ve under defined that, it’s something you have to EXPERIENCE. From large-scale naval battles to impossible arrow shooting hitting their marks, EXPLOSIONS, this movie brings everything to the table. Now, there are some draw backs that I can fairly explain why they happened.

You’ll notice soon enough the few-to-none narrative takes here, all of them being from queen Gorgo. There are too few amazing quotes that made the last movie so memorable. Granted there are two, but only one is delivered so well the other ones just seemed to be forgotten almost immediately. As I said, this story is told through the perspective of the Athenians– one in particular– through the eyes of Themistocles. I’m sure there’re other reasons for this to not feel like 300, but to me it does. Story unfolds from a different perspective. Unlike the Spartans who like telling tales of battle and glory, the Athenians saw it as it as a battle of war; nothing great or positive about it. This would explain why there’re no monstrous beasts, giants, or anything of the sort. Athenians saw themselves fighting ordinary people– immortals.  

With that said, I loved this movie. Not as much as 300, but I truly enjoyed it. Go on and witness it. This is Dr. Sparta, treating his eyes with much needed gore and brutal fun.