Thursday, February 13, 2014

Netflix Addiction: Mulan


I lie here with an obligation. my fellow whales. The duty has been bestowed upon me to watch something far from my usual, normal, everyday bloodshed and mayhem. Brothers and sisters, I am here to cover a love movie. When negotiations fall and I, Dr. Sparta, kick the messenger into a hole as my people have done so for centuries, I wonder. Should I actually do it? Should I risk my manliness by viewing the impossible, or should I meet it halfway and cover something sort of a love story, and still have the action and bloodshed thirst I desperately want to quench? You bet your ass I will QUENCH IT, FOR THE GLORY!

Mulan is the right answer. She is the right kind of blend for everyone in the family. Watch Fa Mulan as she breaks the law and risks death to save her father. This is a love that is not necessarily shown that much in Disney films. Instead of loving some prince, her love for her father and then later for her own self worth is strongly felt and truly moves you. After listening to the best song ever written in the history of HUMANITY (Be A Man by Donny Osmond), you won't resist, you'll learn the lyrics and sing at the most opportune times.

What is there not to love about this movie? The sexual tension between Captain Shang and Mulan is hilariously felt. The face of epic relief when he finds out that Mulan is not a man is priceless. It's masterful to be surprised when Disney isn’t afraid to show countless corpses in a war torn village, or how their main character pretty much slaughters literally thousands onscreen.

A surprisingly violent, yet loving Disney movie. Happy Valentine's day whales! With that said, I take my leave. What movie, in your opinion, meets both the she's and the he's approval on Valentine's day?  This is Dr. Sparta, coming up with a gift for my wild and savage woman, FOR GLORY!

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