Thursday, February 6, 2014

Netflix Addiction: Shark Edition

After last week’s confusing and weird paranormal event with both VHS movies, I wanted to discuss something that would bring me back to some sort of sanity. I returned once more Netflix’s B-Movie section on the quest to find that golden relic. What do I come across as I travelled this darkened and evil path? A movie named Two Headed Shark Attack.

What doesn’t attract attention with a name like that? The answer is simple: NOTHING! My overly produced testosterone forced me to watch this. Behold this behemoth as it munches and crunches its way through SyFy’s weekly pick of victims. Which victims, my fellow whales? It’s another set of college students on a class about being on boats, wielding such unique weaponry as bikinis and douchebags. These students battle the monster by screaming, running in a small sinking island and doing every monster movie cliché in the book. Thank the gods they are being led by Jerry O’Connell’s brother, Carmen Electra and Brooke Hogan. Otherwise, they’d be screwed and they would undoubtedly get massacred. How GLORIOUS can this movie be? It features a woman fighting the two-headed monster, mano a mano. If you picture that one scene, you’ll know that it made me hail Epicness! Truly people, that scene alone made the entire movie worthwhile, even if I cried blood for having watched it in the first place.

Two Headed Shark Attack.

Dr Sparta’s Treatment for those looking to witness something idiotically awesome at some point in their life.

No comments:

Post a Comment