Series Review: Naked Gun

By. Dr.Sparta

 

It has been awhile, my fellow Whales and Whalettes. Let us rejoice in the likes of comedy, or its heart shattering downfall. Let us enjoy the days of real comedy, the type that made you laughed and not coughed in embarrassment...  as the modern era “comedy” delivers yet another bad pop culture reference. This is the Naked Gun series. 

Where to begin with this masterpiece? To compare it to the likes of current day comedies is quite puzzling, my brothers and sisters. Ahhh I got it! Naked Gun is actually funny. Yes it has its dated references here and there, but it hits the film noir type enough for it to be quite smart. 

Each reference made by Lieutenant Frank Drebbin, our resident quote machine of EPICNESS, can be written down and repeated at some point in your lives. This hilarious character, played by non-other than the late Leslie Nielsen, will curse any unsuspecting viewer with a quote spewing frenzy that will only be cured by watching the following sequel, which will then make you spew its quotes. Upon the third movie you will realize you are doomed to a life of quote giving madness that will most likely turn you into a cop, a soldier, or a character from Sin City. My fellow Whales and Whalettes, the curse is worth it, dig in. 

It is writing in its GLORY and it deserves respect. For this movie will easily slay all other “funny” movies from modern times with their horrible attempts at obvious jokes and racist stereotypical behavior, take their weak rotten carcasses and tear them limb from limb to spread the word that good comedy has a champion to defend humor once more. Brothers and sisters how much more can we stand yet another movie with a “movie” title name at the end. Or another joke about something really heavy falling on that year’s celebrity. Whenever you feel empty after watching such maddening putrid excuse of humor, remember Naked Gun exists. That’s it for today Whales and Whalettes. This is Dr. Sparta, trying to cure comedy from a seriously bad rash, FOR THEIR GLORY!

Sharknado Apocalypse is Near

by Dr. Sparta

My fellow whales, I've already tackled sharks before. I've seen two-headed sharks, ultra-violent sharks in Australia, but tornado-riding sharks are a first and a truly exhilarating experience. For the glory of its impossible, explosive, illogical return, I will take on both Sharknados.

Where could I even start with this epic, senseless, brutal tale, where people drive helicopters into shark-filled tornadoes to blow them up and save Los Angeles?. A man freezes a tornado on top of the Empire State Building and flies into the shark-filled skies wielding a chainsaw, slicing through a shark that eats him midair. Then he proceeds to grab a chain and ride another shark onto the top of the skyscraper shielding his fall from death. Yeah my whales, that is a true story within the movies. Granted, for all the good and refreshing things, they brought “Sharknado 2: The Second One”, and by what they presented, it made me think they forgot their roots; replacing some essentials with EPICNESS, which is NOT necessarily a GLORIOUS thing.

I do not believe in going into small details to decide over something, but the first Sharknado had its local area feel, with good characters. It had a white background for whenever they shielded inside their transports. “Sharknado 2: The Second One”, starts off the bat with a bombardment of cameos. All sorts of people unexpectedly pop up, bringing shame to themselves for ever being in something as WONDROUS as a Sharknado movie. My biggest complaint was Kurt Angle as a gentle fireman? He served no purpose being in that cameo. It felt unnecessary for that to have taken place, but no movie is without its flaws so I cannot complain or nitpick such an outstanding SyFy movie. 

My dear whales, if you like cheap outstanding, stupefying, outrageously ridiculous, and GLORIOUS pieces of work, then watch the Sharknado movies. They are a tale to witness, a force to be felt…A sight to be glued onto your brains. In all seriousness, Sharknadoes in New York? What’s next? This is Dr. Sparta, looking for chainsaws, shotguns, homemade bombs, and liquid nitrogen for the impending Sharknado Apocalypse... That’s it for today!