By. D.Fernandez
Have you ever found a
new thing in fiction and just latched on like a virus looking for warmth? I
hope the movie Pacific Rim came to mind when you read that. The movie blew your
mind, and you walked out picturing whole alternate universes of other fiction
favorites, only now with giant robots. Drawing might be a little out of your
reach, probably being limited to careful and squiggly stick figures. My stick
figures are works of art, if you ask me. It’s hard to convey meaning with them,
and stick figure robots don’t look too epic.
Hey don’t despair, anyone can write, you
figure. Why, that’s what your totally legitimate copy of Microsoft Word is for!
Assuming you don’t have a computer, there's those things, p-paper and, uh,
pencil? I’m not sure what those are anymore, but I’m told they can be used for
writing. So you set off to give life to your Sherlock fan-fiction set in the
Pacific Rim world, but nothing seems to be gluing together. You re-read a
paragraph and knowing you can go back an edit it, it just doesn’t seem to come
to life.
This is a three-part column, dedicated to
giving you budding writers a solid ground with which to start with. Practicing can improve your style, but just
think of all those dramatic and slightly sexual scenes between Holmes and
Watson you’ll be able to write soon (while they pilot a Jaeger no less). For
this part, we’ll focus on description and your new best friend, a Thesaurus. Take this following example to start with:
“I’m
not sure what to do with my life anymore,” Raleigh said to Mako Mori, feeling
confused. He felt distraught at the thought of never piloting a giant robot
again.
No, that doesn’t read very badly at all.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with it either, or else your eyes would be
bleeding. It’s lacking though, isn’t it? How can we turn that into something
with a bit more glitter and shine? Read this example:
“I’m
not sure what to do with my life anymore,” Raleigh said to Mako Mori. Somehow,
with the kaiju gone now, it felt like his life had no purpose or direction
anymore. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be at all, not with his whole life
ahead of him. Instead of celebrating, he found himself questioning his own
existence. How could it be so tightly wound to a giant war robot?
Besides being longer, the difference between
the first example and the second one is a pillar of creative writing– telling versus showing. Let’s say:
Marshall
hit the jackpot and won a shiny-new, red sports car. He called his friend Ted,
“I won a new red car!” Telling his best friend isn’t going to cut
it. O.K., now let’s take a look at this version below:
Marshall hit the jackpot and won a new, sports
car. He sped down the highway, out the exit, in-and-out a few roads. Then
screeches to a halt in front of his friend’s house. Ted, his friend, looked out
the window and gawked at Monty, who waved back at him. He went out and both
stroked the shiny paint of the crimson car. That has more impact than just
calling and telling them the car is red.
When you write, you have to constantly strive
to achieve that same effect of showing with words. In the first example, the
reader is told that Raleigh is confused and distraught. That’s not going to
hook anyone though. By contrast, the second example weaves you through
Raleigh’s thoughts and consciousness. Instead of just stating what he’s
feeling, you describe the mess that’s in his head. This is much more compelling
than simply stating facts, and is crucial to giving readers an idea of who the
characters are.
Let’s take a look at this next example:
Sherlock
suspected something was wrong. His deductions were nearly always right, after
all. Watson also suspected the same thing; though he lacked Sherlock’s
deduction skills, his suspicions could also prove to at least point Sherlock’s
deductions in the right direction.
This is also fine at first glance, yet at
second glance there’s something slightly nagging in the background. It’s like a
woodpecker pecking in the same spot, over and over again at 10 AM on a Sunday
morning, like the lazy good-for-nothings they are. While it’s true that
language can only give so many synonyms for the same thing, cycling between the
same two words will leave readers bored and wandering elsewhere. Here’s where
your BFF the Thesaurus, and a little showing come to the rescue. Try this
version:
Sherlock
suspected something was wrong. After all, his skills in deduction were nearly
unmatched, and he was hardly wrong, something he occasionally hated. Watson had
similar misgivings himself. Though perhaps not as deft at making inferences as
his companion, Watson’s uncertainty nearly always pointed Sherlock’s notions in
the right direction, as well as providing invaluable information.
Now, instead of a woodpecker that won’t get a
job, you have a paragraph that uses similar words for the same thing. Readers
are less likely to get bored, and now you’re a respectable badger, with a full
time job and a home.
As with anything though, take it all in baby
steps. Practice a little each day, keep a journal (a Tumblr for you hip kids or
whatever you’re using), recount everyday happenings, and make them into small
snippets. Always revise! Just like that extra shot of rum, what seems like a
good idea now might just become a pang of regret in a day or three.
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