By Dr.Sparta
Whales, my computer exploded. It shattered my hopes and my
dreams. It destroyed my sanity. I had to call upon the gods to give me the
tools to give life to a new one. With that quest now completed, let’s get back
to finding awesome! That which I am about to watch on the screen of this maddening house of
horrors known as Netflix is a mayor letdown that is only welcome for someone with an unquenchable
thirst for action, bloodletting, explosions and the occasional love story that
ends in tragedy. It’s bad acting, it’s over the topness, it’s overall goofy
quality… This is Devil.
My fellow Whales this movie delivered nothing but the last
sentence above. It promised greatness, it lied. It promised GLORY! and it lied
once again. At this point I wanted to end my computer for a second time, but I restrained myself.
This “film” is centered on
a group of people trapped in an elevator, one of them being the Devil. Every
time the lights go out a soul is taken from within the elevator via slaughter.
Up until this part, I was hooked, and then like a siren’s call draws men in, it
pounced for the reveal. And it left a not bloody bad taste in everyone’s mouth.
Then it went on being racist with the latino character being overly religious
and how the detective has a tragic back-story. I would much rather just…dare I
say it? Watch both VHS movies once again than sit through this.
This movie is most un-epic, it gives nothing that is
new. Like a politician, it is all
promise and no delivery. Do not get me wrong whales and whalettes, I love being
back, but with movies like this… I fear for what’s to come. With that I take my
leave whales. But there
is no question about this though,
go witness this bad, BAD movie and judge it deeply. This is Dr. Sparta,
GLORIOUSLY recommending not building your own computer without good specific
instructions.
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